Your Favorite Band Sucks

Modest Mouse is the audio equivalent of not having enough blankets in the desert at night while high on ketamine: uncomfortable, unpleasant and very confusing. Good news for people who love bad lyrics...

Practically no one would attempt to defend Stone Temple Pilots at their worst ("Sour Girl"). But if you're warming up an argument for Core being a total classic, then you're going to want to pump the ...

You ever wonder how bad of an idea it would be to start a band after reading exactly one pop psychology book and buying into some new crackpot therapy method? Look no further... Tears for Fears (a.k.a...

Rage Against the Machine is an example of why A.I. is going to eliminate the human species as soon as we turn it on because we are clearly too stupid and illogical to be making decisions that impact t...

Black Sabbath's entire schtick would be ripe for savage mocking on its own, except it probably isn't even their schtick? This is easily the weirdest marketing of a Christian Rock band, ever, by the wa...

If Outkast was just a rap group, we'd probably leave them alone. But, nah. They decided to murder a little piece of everyone by blanketing the inhabited universe with a little ditty called "Hey Ya," f...

Parents everywhere lose the “you’re not dropping out” argument to their teenagers on a regular basis because Elvis Costello inexplicably had a career in music. How do you talk someone out of chasing t...

Queen is a fitting name because this band royally sucks. Arena Rock is just another word for pandering on as huge a scale as possible. Write two jock jams and coast on filler. Way to go, guys. Maybe n...

Now that everyone's decided the entirety of October is Halloween Month, we're seeing way too many people who find it acceptable to not only walk around wearing Misfits merch but actually listen to the...

The band that committed every crime in the Rock & Roll Rule Book... If there's been a worse influence on rock vocalists than Robert Plant, please remember that Janis Joplin is too annoying to even thi...